Five-Minute-Friday: Hold

Hold.

I have an almost 4-month-old baby girl. Sweet. Angelic. Lovely.

When her brother was born two years ago, I became stressed and worried. Why was he crying? Was I doing everything right? Let's get him on a schedule asap!! I don't remember savoring the moments as much as hectically filling my days.

This summer I've spent hours holding my Lou. Holding her little fingers that she's curled around mine since the moment she was born. Holding the memory of her round face and long dark lashes in my heart. Holding my breath when she smiles.

Years fly by even when days seem to last forever. I've been taking a lesson this time around from Mary's playbook: "Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often." Her time as Jesus' mother must have felt so fleeting. And she held those days in her heart.

I want to let my children go as they grow, yet hold the memory of their sweet smiles and sticky fingers and cuddles and tears in my heart forever.

Five Minute Friday: Change

Change.

What a word.

In the past 8 months our family has had more changes than I can count.

We renovated a house and moved into it.

We added Baby #2.

We bought a van.

My husband began a new customer service job and then was hired full-time at the church. Two job changes.

My grandpa died.

My sister got married.

And those are just the outward, big, noticeable changes.

But the little everyday changes add up so much more, don't they?

The little changes in my attitude from day to day, learning to be more thankful, less stressed and less of a control freak.

The little changes in our two-year-old's behavior, his learning to obey, and adding words to his vocabulary, and whining less.

The daily growth and development of our new baby.

My husband's ever changing responsibilities with work and all that we've learned about money and taking care of a home and vehicles.

Change mystifies. But God is constant through it all. So thankful that he never changes and that he guides us every day toward fresh perspectives and new horizons.

Change is good. God is good above it all. 

Grateful

So I need to write. H.a.v.e to write. I'm pulling my hair out from motherhood and 8 1/2 months of pregnancy (which technically could be classified under motherhood I suppose) and the micromanaging of some people in my life. I'm sick of resorting to Facebook for entertainment and even the good blogs I read are starting to blend together.

Solution: go to one of my favorite blogger's sites and look up last week's Five Minute Friday, where she gives a word and challenges women to blog about that word for 5 minutes. I go to the site and laugh.

Because the word is GRATEFUL.

So here I go.
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Grateful.

Oh the irony. Earlier this morning I sat outside writing a thank-you note to the Lord while my boy and his buddy played in the sunshine. I kid you not...in between every sentence I had to hoist up my 8 1/2 month pregnant body with all its aches and pains and Braxton Hicks contractions and solve some problem. My son chasing his friend with a plastic shovel. His friend wanting to swing and needing help. My son tripping on the sidewalk and bawling his eyes out. My son grabbing my hand and begging mom to "come," because he so desperately wanted to go outside of the yard either through the front or back gate.

I sat down again. I had been just about to pen the words, "Thank you for spiritual rest," in my journal, and as I sat from making my boy apologize for something, I asked the Lord, "Really? Spiritual rest? Do I really have it?" And I knew without a doubt that I did.

The thought came to me, "You don't have to feel something for it to be true."

And so I penned it, and thought about rest. The quiet in my soul even when I want to explode. What grace does within my soul is a pure miracle.

So grateful this morning for fresh beginnings. After a snack and Cars movie, my boy is in so much better of a mood and here I sit sipping red grape juice from a wine glass just because it feels right and sometimes you just need the sugar (if it were tonight believe me it'd be my Riesling...). But God is so kind to me.

In a month or less our baby will be here. Until then, and hopefully as the summer wends on, I look forward each day to rest - soul rest - because of what Jesus has done for me.

And I'm grateful.

Five Minute Friday: Small Victories

Small.

This word makes me think of small steps. Little victories.

Like gradually making a habit of doing dishes once a day instead of letting them pile up until I can't see from under them anymore.

Or like the little boy obeying the first time I ask him to do something.

Maybe the little snatch of sunshine or the quiet thank you I whisper instead of a grumble.

I used to think everything had to be perfect. All had to be great. If you can't do something well, try something else.

Now I'm finally, finally starting to get that even the small victories count for something. God doesn't ask perfection. Ever. He just asks for obedience. And "those who are faithful in that which is little will be faithful also in much."

Last night I read, "Every man will proclaim his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?"

I want to be a faithful mom.

Even in the small steps. Especially in the small steps.

Every day I can faithfully do one small thing to make my husband's day lighter, my boy's day more fun, and my own body stronger. Those things will build on each other. Victory comes from God.

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This post is done as a part of Five Minute Friday, an initiative started by Lisa Jo Baker.