Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Moment by Moment

Lately I've been thinking about living in the present. I'm a very "in the moment" person, so you'd think it would be easy for me to enjoy life since I'm not usually worried about the future. However, I'm so goal-oriented that I often get caught up thinking "What am I accomplishing right now? How am I making this day count?"

Reality looks different from the blueprint in my head. What I consider accomplishments are usually just ticks off a to-do list. Are getting the dishes done or folding the laundry or running errands really accomplishments? What is "accomplishment," anyway?

A definition of the word says it is "an act or instance of carrying into effect; fulfillment." So what am I trying to fulfill? Where do my priorities lie? 

Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever. 

This. This should be my aim. Fulfilling this would be true accomplishment. 

I can best glorify God by giving my life as an act of spiritual service. Dying to myself daily and following Christ. Sacrificing my own will and desires moment by moment to my Savior. And I can only enjoy him as I spend time with him, or as I notice and thank him for his gifts. 

I think that the biggest accomplishments are the little sacrifices. Laying aside my work to play with my son. Putting aside my comfort to discipline him. Ignoring the whining of my weary body to serve my husband. Refusing to believe the lies or give into the temptations of the enemy. Taking time away from my housework to just watch my son at play, or to point out to him the beauty of the winter sunshine and snow. Making a conscious effort to thank the Lord for his gifts, like the fragrance of coffee, or the baby kicking inside me, or the mercy of a situation working out better than I hoped. 

It is a sacrifice for my busy mind and body to savor the moments God gives. I accomplish my "chief end" when I glorify God and enjoy him daily. 

Our baby is coming in June. Before then we will be finishing a remodel of the home we're renting and then moving in there. We'll be visiting Kansas for my sister's wedding. We'll be taking the youth group to a conference. We'll keep working our tails off day in and day out. Several people have asked me, "Are you so ready for the baby to get here?" I'm not a huge fan of pregnancy, I'll be the first to admit. However, I've decided that I really just want to savor life. I want to enjoy being the only one to hold this little person for another 4 months. I want to love the moments with just one little boy running around. I want to settle into a new life in our new home (and with a second family vehicle -hooray!) with joy and not frantically. 

These things are richer accomplishments. 

Just glorifying God and enjoying him today.


 

Friday, February 21, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Small Victories

Small.

This word makes me think of small steps. Little victories.

Like gradually making a habit of doing dishes once a day instead of letting them pile up until I can't see from under them anymore.

Or like the little boy obeying the first time I ask him to do something.

Maybe the little snatch of sunshine or the quiet thank you I whisper instead of a grumble.

I used to think everything had to be perfect. All had to be great. If you can't do something well, try something else.

Now I'm finally, finally starting to get that even the small victories count for something. God doesn't ask perfection. Ever. He just asks for obedience. And "those who are faithful in that which is little will be faithful also in much."

Last night I read, "Every man will proclaim his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?"

I want to be a faithful mom.

Even in the small steps. Especially in the small steps.

Every day I can faithfully do one small thing to make my husband's day lighter, my boy's day more fun, and my own body stronger. Those things will build on each other. Victory comes from God.

______

This post is done as a part of Five Minute Friday, an initiative started by Lisa Jo Baker.




Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Sometimes Correction...Sometimes Mercy

Just a thought from this morning...

Our little man came to the steps of our bedroom this morning at 6:30, an hour before Nate or I had to be up. Early mornings may be one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. It's not fair that I not only have to care for my son 12 hours out of the day, but that he also gets up long before I'm ready to start my day and I can't even get the sleep I deserve. That's a rotten attitude, but it's what I feel every morning I have to rise before I'm ready.

Today I tried to settle him back in bed. We rocked, and sang, and even looked at books, but he wouldn't go. I disciplined him, but he didn't even care. He just wanted me. Just wanted me to hold him, to snuggle, to be with him.

"I have to teach him that he can't just get up and bug us when we're trying to sleep," the thought kept coming to my mind.

But then like a whisper, the thought filled me: What if he doesn't need a lesson right now? What if he just needs his mommy? What if he doesn't need correction, but mercy?

Sometimes God doesn't convict me with a scolding. Sometimes he teaches me by his mercy. He's there for me when I need him to just hold me, just like he's there for me when I need discipline and correction. He allows me to face trials that shape my character. He also gives moments that are so full of grace I can feel his closeness.

Momma's the boss but Momma doesn't always have to be bossing. Sometimes she can just give herself away to wash little man's feet by snuggling with him at 6:45 am before the sun comes peeking over the horizon.