Our little man came to the steps of our bedroom this morning at 6:30, an hour before Nate or I had to be up. Early mornings may be one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. It's not fair that I not only have to care for my son 12 hours out of the day, but that he also gets up long before I'm ready to start my day and I can't even get the sleep I deserve. That's a rotten attitude, but it's what I feel every morning I have to rise before I'm ready.
Today I tried to settle him back in bed. We rocked, and sang, and even looked at books, but he wouldn't go. I disciplined him, but he didn't even care. He just wanted me. Just wanted me to hold him, to snuggle, to be with him."I have to teach him that he can't just get up and bug us when we're trying to sleep," the thought kept coming to my mind.
But then like a whisper, the thought filled me: What if he doesn't need a lesson right now? What if he just needs his mommy? What if he doesn't need correction, but mercy?
Sometimes God doesn't convict me with a scolding. Sometimes he teaches me by his mercy. He's there for me when I need him to just hold me, just like he's there for me when I need discipline and correction. He allows me to face trials that shape my character. He also gives moments that are so full of grace I can feel his closeness.
Momma's the boss but Momma doesn't always have to be bossing. Sometimes she can just give herself away to wash little man's feet by snuggling with him at 6:45 am before the sun comes peeking over the horizon.
This is extraordinary.
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