So why is it so hard? I fail, time and time again, to believe that he has my best interest in his heart and that what he does is good for me.
What does it mean to fear God? There is so much that goes into this word. There is the trembling recognition that he is all-powerful and I'm like a branch in a tornado before him and he could snap me at any moment. Then then overwhelming sense of gratitude that although he is all and has all, he made himself nothing for me to die in my place on the cross when I was still his enemy. Also, there is the tingling delight with the realization that he rose from the dead and proved that nothing is beyond his ability to conquer and I am alive with that same power within me.
God is....GOD. I love his name. "I am who I am." No need for excuses or explanation. "I'm ME," in essence.
It's almost laughable when we think of how our names are just a tag, truthfully, in comparison with God's name. "I'm Elizabeth," I say when you meet me, but there is so much more you need to know about me before you would trust me or respect me or love me. You'd never trust me just because my name is Elizabeth. But God's name describes his very entity. "I AM." We can trust him based even just on his name. He is, he created, he controls. HE IS GOD.
We have lost so much reverence today. Our own opinions are king, to the point that were we actually on thrones, we would probably behead certain people because they have different ideas from us - even about simple things, like eating habits or social laws. So, sadly, we have such little respect for God. So little fear. It strikes me that I should be on my knees, asking God to show me more of who he is, to stir up my heart to fear him more.
And yet, if I didn't fear him at all, I would not be a follower of Christ. Even if lacking, there is fear in my heart. I do bow before him as my Lord. He is my creator and I do stand in awe of him.
Psalm 115:11 says:
You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord!
It's not a given that because we fear him and follow him, we trust him. This applies universally to all humanity. We are weak and in our pride, it just looks so much more comforting to trust in ourselves. But I DO fear the Lord! And I should TRUST in him!
His faithful love endures forever. And that doesn't just mean it starts when I die and keeps going. In reality, his faithful love exists here with me, today. In the quiet moments before I slip out of bed, in the chaotic morning hours when I run from one thing to the next, in the dinner preparations and the washing of the dishes, in the noise and the silence, his faithful love follows me.
My trust belongs in him. Because he is God. Because he is "I am." I fear him...I can trust him.