Thursday, May 9, 2013

Now That Tastes Good

So often I have read the words:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil.

Only yesterday did I connect the dots with the following verse in the same chapter:
It shall be life to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Oh, life and refreshment! How I long for you! To drink and be satisfied. To have strength to triumph over the day's tasks and not just drag through them. To have a spring of joy inside of me that isn't muddied by weariness or grumpiness.

And the principle is too simple. Trust. Lean on him. Acknowledge him. Fear him. And life and refreshment will be yours.

I am so quick to look for instant comfort and relaxation - the internet, What Not to Wear (or Chopped) - my favorite shows, a handful of chocolate chips with peanut butter - whatever hits me where I think I need it most. But then I must pick myself up off the couch again and keep going - perhaps rested in body but not refreshed in my soul.

Yesterday I decided to experiment. I had a to-do list a mile long...basically CLEAN THE HOUSE but spelled out in a list. And I had no motivation or desire or energy. But I chose to trust God, and make calculated choices about how I spent my time, what I ate, and what I did. I plugged along faithfully, choosing to acknowledge him throughout my day.

Today I tried more of the same. And I have a theory now. The life and refreshment here is not going to be a quick fix, fast food kind of deal. It will come with practice, and a weaning off of trusting myself and worshiping my own idols. As that transpires, refreshment will take the place of weariness, and life the place of drudgery. I don't sit here writing about how adding a little trust and sprinkling in a little fear of God turned my perspective around. Instead I can see how a weight lifts as I choose God above myself. Sometimes it bears down again, as I rely on my own strength, but as my heart changes, so does the burden.

Jesus said he came to give us abundant life. I want to live that life. But I can't hang on to my own way and have that life in addition. I must rest in his strength and grace and he will fill me with true life and lasting refreshment.

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